A Brat’s Statement

I stand by my right to curse, swear, bitch, bullshit, and generally be an asshole whenever I am asked to do chores. If that means I'm spoiled rotten, then yes I'm spoiled. I'm a brat, ladies and gentlemen, a whiny good-for-nothing spoiled brat.

It's not that I can't tolerate doing chores. I just hate it when I'm commanded to do so. My body reacts negatively to commands. Let's say I'm lying in bed, staring at the wall, enjoying the comfort of lying down on a bed. I can spring out of bed and do something else, I'm not tired or anything, I just don't. But then when my kid brother comes in and says, "Ahia (kuya, big brother), linisin mo daw yung table." gravity suddenly gets stronger and I'm held fast to my bed, feeling exhausted all of a sudden. My movement slows down to a crawl, my feet take eons to slip into my slippers. I trudge like a zombie to the dining table, full of dirty dishes and leftover food. I do it reluctantly, but I pile the dirty dishes on the sink, put the leftovers in the fridge, and get the table wiped clean.  That's on a good day. Most of the time, I do a haphazard job at it. Who wouldn't? Oh yeah, normal people who've been conditioned to do chores. People with good manners. Mature people.

I know, civilized people should do their part in society for society to survive. If nobody did, then we shouldn't have progressed from unicellular organisms. Well I do my part. Not at the time most people expect, but I do it anyway. I'm a doer, I do things. Eventually. I'm not doing it now, but I will do it. Maybe things would be different if I announce to the world that I'm going to do something eventually. No set date or time, just the promise of possibility provided by the word, Eventually.

"The time of clutter on the dining table will end. A time when leftovers shall be put away will come. A time when the glass surface shines with cleanliness will arrive. The table shall be cleaned, made like new, all its filthiness stripped away…  A time like this will come… eventually."

That would do nicely. Especially if I have powers more than mortal men, like being Omni-Everything. That way people would gladly do anything for me to do something. I can even reform society if I want to. Quoting Death Note, "I shall be the god of a new world!"

A spoonful of sugar makes the medicine go down. A reward gets things done. For some people, the sight, smell, and feel of cleanliness is enough. For people who can tolerate clutter, something more is needed. So what am I saying? I want to be paid for doing chores? Hmmm…maybe. I don't know. I'm just rambling again. (Hold my books hostage, and either I'll kill you, or be willing to do anything, I swear.)